This is my acting reel, trimmed down and consolidated. I still have some stuff I want to add but I think it's taking shape. What should I add? music? star swipes? Please comment and let me know what you think.

Los Angeles California...

I like to make people laugh. Ever since I was a kid I've had timing. The sense to know when a joke, a gesture, or an action would be well received. This gift has come with adulation and praise from many of my family and friends. My entire life I've enjoyed a certain sense of "popularity" because of my abilities and my personality. Declarations of "He's gonna be in movies one day" and "Will has so much talent" were in no short supply. My mother in particular has probably always been my biggest fan. She has always encouraged me to pursue entertainment as a career, certain that I was born to be in front of a camera. I realize that support like this is quite uncommon and probably incredibly desired among those in the acting profession. Indeed, for most, telling your parents you want to be a professional actor is probably akin to telling them you want to join the circus. Sheer joy and excitement floods the room I'm sure. And by joy and excitement I mean weeping and wailing, gnashing of teeth. But good ol' mom isn't like that at all. She believes in me.

And yet...I find it difficult to believe in myself sometimes. I find it difficult to believe that I am deserving. I tell myself, "There are so many others out there trying to do the same thing that I am." I'm beleaguered thinking, "Who am I? What could I possibly offer that others already haven't?" This fear is crippling, it's wrong. There are other actors out there, but there is not another William Rubio. (Except for, according the IMDB, the stunt motorcyclist in Taxi)

Unfortunately, this seems to be a common thread amongst my colleagues. In my interactions with other actors I find that many are plagued with the same worries and fears. Many are in constant search of just enough validation to maintain hope. They want someone to say they are talented. Perhaps the unspoken dream is for someone to magically appear and say, "I believe in you so much that I will sponsor all your endeavors. You need not worry about a 9-5. You are an artist. I will give you the freedom to create without worry until the rest of the world recognizes your genius and rewards you for it."

I suppose we want to eliminate the risk involved. We are told that we need the stability that comes along with following social norms, yet our hearts won't allow it. Our society often rewards creative behavior, but in very few ways endorses it on the mainstream. I think subconciously some may think, "If only there was a set of rules to follow to show me exactly how to get to where I want". So we go in search of these rules, but we can't find them. Well, it's taken a while for me to figure out but, THERE IS NO SET OF RULES. Life is indeed what we make of it.

I find, as many others do as well, that it is hard to change, particularly the way one thinks or interacts with others. But I intend to. I will. I will change for the better. I will live life without a script (no pun intended). Why not? Worry and fear don't produce anything but emptiness and regret. The trouble is that the alternative involves work. It involves courage and determination. So we choose fear as an easy escape, as an excuse. But nothing that is worth anything is achieved without effort, right? Isn't that the great eternal truth here, that you reap what you sow?

Sigh....Well I intended for this to be a simple post about my plans to move to LA, but I guess it evolved into something else.

I had planned to move to LA in February. But my room mate/renter moving out has put a hold on things. It has made me realize just how many liabilities I have right now. So I face the shame of not leaving after having told many that I was. Dang, I really didn't want to be "that guy".

So here is the new plan. I'm going to sell my house. I'm going to take the money and pay off everything. Then I'll move to LA a free man, in more ways than one. So what if it takes another couple months. There is no shame in altering plans to put myself in a better position to succeed right? Besides, I scriptless now. ;)

Faith and Race

It seems to me that in the past several months my faith has been called into question more than ever before. It seems like every week I randomly encounter someone who has something to say about what I believe and how misguided I am. I'd like to think it is because God has great things in store for me and Satan is working hard on bringing me down. That may be a little presumptuous, huh?

In any case, tonight my sister called me and told me about a fireside she went to, in which the topic of "blacks and the priesthood" was discussed. For the random person reading this blog that previous sentence would be understandably weird. So for a point of reference, I will tell you that I am Mormon, and until 1978 the church, while granting blacks full membership, denied black men the ability to hold the priesthood. This has bred much controversy and misunderstanding from black people and members of the church alike. Up until tonight I had no idea of what the real story was. So....back to my sister. She was confused after leaving the fireside. She didn't know what to think. It was a church sponsored event in which church scholars came and spoke and basically said that the church's position on blacks in the priesthood was indicative of the prevailing thoughts and inclinations of the leadership of the day. Not the less valiant in the pre-existence, or descendants of Cain, or Ham myths that so readily find their way through our culture.

I went online and found some good resources. The website blacklds.com is a cool site that has an extensive side by side time line of US and LDS black history. I also read an intriguing article by Renee Olson a black Mormon convert who started out anti-Mormon. This article is what prompted this blog. Which is saying something considering I haven't written since February.

Her tone was very conversational. She spoke of strong black members of the church, even those that were ordained to the priesthood in the time of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young before and during the ban. Men and women who astonishingly remained faithful even until death. (A myth often perpetuated is that Joseph Smith stripped Elijah Abel of the priesthood once learning of a ban. Not so, Elijah died a faithful priesthood holder in Utah and even helped on the construction of the Salt Lake temple) The validity of the ban was questioned many times throughout church history but it seemed to be put on the back burner. In either case, the Lord allowed it to continue for some reason. Olsen suggests that it may have been because the Lord knew he could count on black people to come through in the end. They had already been through countless trials and tribulations including the horrors of slavery. She may be right. There are thousands of faithful black latter day saints. I recommend reading the last section of Olsen's article entitled "Moving Forward" which is what touched me the most.


I'm not prideful enough to think I know God's intentions or his reasons for doing things the way he does. But I do know that despite the foibles of humanity, the revelations from God to his apostles are real. God uses imperfect beings to relay his perfect message. I suppose some would say that this should weaken my faith or cause me to doubt. But these things do not change the Gospel message. Christ came to this earth. He died for us. Through Him we can return to live with our Heavenly Father. Living the gospel helps me understand the plan of salvation (Who I am, why am I here, and where am I going when I die), eternal families, mercy, joy, love. It makes me a better person. It gives me a personal relationship with Chirst and my Father in Heaven.

Dr. A.F. Mensah of Ghana found a missionary tract and recieved an answer from God that no man or science book could cause him to doubt. He knew the truth, despite the ban, despite constant opposition, despite what the world and those more "enlightened" than him would say, he stood firm in the higher truth that God had given him.

Ok...time for bed.

Poem written for Valentine's Day. :)

So I recently broke up with my girlfriend of almost a year. I saw her on Valentine's day and in the slim chance that she got me a Valentine I wrote his poem. Perhaps not the best idea, but I seldom act on reason anyway. In any case, I thought it was pretty cool. So, check it out and let me know what you think. :)

A different path

On this day dedicated to couples and love
I’m assigned to my fate like a hand to a glove

It seems I am destined to spend it alone
Questioning why my heart has turned to stone

I desire to love, I desire to marry
But it seems that the prospect has proven too scary

This isn’t because of lack of opportunity
I’ve treated love like a criminal with impunity

Carelessly swinging a dull jagged sword
Only realizing now, the answer’s the Lord

I’ve spent the last year with someone truly great.
A girl who has turned me back to the God I forsake.

She knows me better than any other
We’ve talked and shared like best friends or brothers.

She’s been strong during my roller coaster of emotion
The whole time only seeking my deepest devotion

I just couldn’t give it, it proved too hard
My love was hidden and always on guard

Yet she persisted because she thought I had worth
Caring for me like the woman who gave me birth

But such undeserved love I couldn’t permit.
In the end it turns out I just couldn’t commit

The Lord has told me to take another path
At first it didn’t compute, I couldn’t do the math.

I just want her to be happy; I want to be happy too
Especially because of all the things that we’ve been through

I can only hope that we always remain friends
And that the future will offer a much clearer lens

Providing a way for us both to see
God’s eternal plan for our eternities

Boot Prank on Provo Center Street

Hello All. I know I haven't updated in a while....several months to be exact. I'm hoping the thousands of faithful readers of my blog can forgive me.


Recently I applied to be on a new CBS reality TV show called Pranksters. They required that I pull off an original prank and send it to them. So after hashing over many different ideas, I settled on the BOOT PRANK because booting is so prevalant here in Provo. Anyway...enough talking. I hope you enjoy. Watch it and let me know what you think. Leave a comment. I mean with the thousands of people that read this you would think that at least one would take the time to leave a comment.

That Stinkin' Title Bar!

Let it be known that I came on here with every intention of creating a thought provoking and intelligent post. But I have spent the last hour creating and then trying eveything under the sun to center the title bar you see above. I give up. Perhaps it was meant to be. In any case, I have to go to bed now. If anyone knows how to center it...let me know.

Halo.

Last night for the first time in 2 years and probably the 3rd time in my entire college career I got together with some friends to play Halo. I wasn't planning on it, but my roommate asked me to drop him off and I figured it wouldn't hurt to go in for a minute or two.

I am not a Halo player...well I play, but most times I just wander around wondering where everybody is and how they always find each other while I spend most of my time walking into the wall with my gun, and consequently my vision, pointed straight up into the sky.

During the inevitable and impending skirmish between me and whoever is lucky enough to pad thier numbers with such an easy kill, I try to get a grenade off. This is of course just before being slain by my phantom assassin whom I don't even have the luxury of seeing in the futile attempt to "take them with me".

Other than that it's a lot of fun.